By Sue-Ann de Wet

The first year after emigration rarely goes as planned. Even when the decision has been carefully considered, the reality of settling in remains something that slowly catches up with you. These 12 months are not a logistical transition but an emotional, identity and life phase.

What helps in these times is often not what people expect.

What really helps in the first 12 months

1. Realistic expectations about time
Adjustment does not happen quickly. For many people, it takes months before things start to make more sense. To accept that discomfort, doubt and uncertainty is part of the process relieves unnecessary self-criticism. Your progress is not slow, you are settling in.

2. Routine, even if it feels artificial

Simple repetition brings stability when everything feels unfamiliar. A morning ritual, a set shopping day, weekly family dinners – little routines give your brain and emotions something to hold on to.

3. To detach your identity from just work and income
Work and finances are challenging in the first year, but when self-worth is tied exclusively thereto, emigration becomes fragile. Many people experience a change in role or status. It is not failure, it is transition.   

4. Communities, not just contacts
There is a difference between knowing people and truly belonging. In the first 12 months, it helps a lot to have access to others’ experiences – people who understand without you having to explain everything.

5. Taking emotional reactions seriously
Heartache, frustration, guilt and even regret are common, even among people who are “doing well”. These emotions do not mean the decision was wrong. It means that you left something behind that mattered a lot to you.

What does not help, even though we think it should:

1. Constantly comparing yourself to others
Every emigration path looks different. Comparison creates pressure and distorts perspective, especially when it is fuelled by superficial conversations or social media.

2. Expecting gratitude to silence all emotions

Gratitude does not cancel out grief or loss. Both can exist simultaneously.  

3. Completely turning off your language, habits or values
When people try to erase themselves to fit in faster, adaption becomes exhausting. Sustainable settlement happens when identity is given space.

4. Delaying support until everything overwhelms you
Many people wait too long to ask questions or seek support. The first 12 months is the time to learn, ask and connect.

Where practical support really makes a difference

The people who handle the first 12 months best are not necessarily those with the most resources, but those with access to reliable information, shared experiences and a network of people who understand.

This is where AfriForum Worldwide plays a practical role, not by prescribing solutions, but enabling connections.

Articles that provide context
Honest articles about work, money, identity, language and family life help people to understand and name their own experiences. Reading your own thoughts in the words of others brings relief and perspective.

Social media as an extension of community
Online platforms offer something that is invaluable in the first year: continuous connection. Not only announcements, but conversations, questions, comments and shared stories. It helps people feel: I am not alone.

The value of others’ experiences
When people honestly share their emigration journey, the stumbling blocks, the doubts, the adjustments, expectations become realistic. It breaks down the myth that everyone else has it easier.

Social gatherings that anchor

Events like concerts and cultural evenings are more than just relaxation. They are moments of recognition where people hear their language, laugh together, sing together and for a few hours feel like they belong. Such gatherings often create bonds that last long after the event.

The power of a network you belong to  
Being part of a network does not mean that you always have answers, it means that you know where to ask. Networks offer perspective, practical tips, emotional support and a sense of continuity between old and new.

The first 12 months is not a test you have to pass. It is a learning phase. A transition. A time in which you slowly begin to understand what is sustainable for you.

Also read: Opinion article: Why adaptation doesn’t mean losing yourself