By Sue-Ann de Wet

Adjusting in a new country is a profound and often challenging experience. The idea of ​​a “thousand days theory” is often used to describe how long it takes for expats to adjust to a new environment. It implies that it takes about three years to stabilise and feel comfortable with a new life in a foreign country.

This period of one thousand days may seem arbitrary, but it reflects a common experience among many who move their lives across borders. While this specific period has not been widely scientifically substantiated, many personal testimonies support the idea that a comprehensive adjustment usually takes a few years.

The reality of emotional grief

Moving to a new country is not only a physical move, but also an emotional one. The “grief” referred to is a loss of direct contact with family and friends, and a familiar culture – a loss of part of their identity. The longing for the familiar comforts of “home”. Emigrants can often feel as if they are living between two worlds, not quite at home in the new country, but also increasingly alienated from their homeland. This experience can be exacerbated by the perception that those left behind should not know about the struggles and challenges that the expat is experiencing.

Invisible obstacles: the challenges of emigration

It may happen at times that emigrants do not want their family and friends in South Africa to know that they are struggling. This is partly because they don’t want others to be worried, and partly because they don’t want to be regarded as unsuccessful. Some of the challenges include:

• Social and cultural adjustment: The integration into a new culture with different social labels and customs can be a source of anxiety and misunderstandings.
  
  
• Building support networks: It can be difficult to form meaningful relationships, especially if there are huge language and cultural differences.
  
  
• Financial challenges: The living cost and initial cost of settling in could be significantly more than was expected, causing financial pressure.
  
  
• Career challenges: To get a job or adjust to a new work culture can be stressful, and professional networks often need to be formed from scratch.

Advice on adjusting

These tips can help to make it easier to adjust:

1. Active participation in the community: Join clubs or groups that share your interests. It can help you to quickly make new friends and create a feeling of community, the feeling of “I belong”.  
   
   
2. Learn the language: Language is often a big obstacle. It is much easier to communicate and integrate into your new community if you learn the local language.
   
   
3. Financial planning: Budget carefully for the first months after arriving. Take the cost of living as well as possible unplanned circumstances into account.
   
   
4. Get professional help: Don’t hesitate to get support from professional migration mentors or psychiatrists, especially if you are experiencing stress or have difficulty adjusting.
   
   
5. Stay in contact with the people back home: While it is important to become part of your new community, regular contact with people back home can be a source of comfort and help to reduce feelings of isolation.
   
   
6. Be patient with yourself: Give yourself time to adjust to your new circumstances. Realise that it is normal to experience challenges and that adjusting is a gradual process.

The “thousand days theory” is a useful framework for understanding the extent of the adjustment that will be required when moving to a new country. It emphasises the importance of patience and perseverance in the face of challenges and offers a hopeful perspective that adjustment is indeed possible with time and support.

You are not alone

Whether you are just trying to find your feet in a new country or have been living abroad for years, AfriForum Worldwide is here to support you. We help you stay in touch with your culture, language and community. From practical resources to networking opportunities, we are your home away from home abroad.