by Melodie Veldhuizen

What greater privilege can grandparents enjoy than personally handing gifts to their grandchildren on birthdays and Christmas, or for no particular reason at all? And to enjoy the bright-eyed joy when they open those presents.

Cyber grandparents are not granted this privilege. Given finances and other circumstances, you might have been able to visit your children abroad regularly before the Covid pandemic and take a bag full of presents with you. Or Granny and Grandpa could spoil the children with gifts when they came to visit.

Since our children moved bag and baggage to Austria almost three years ago, we have not seen them again, and we miss them so much. We had to come up with an alternative plan to give them presents. Despite many negative rumours, we sent the first few parcels through the South African Post Office. Each time, we waited on tenterhooks for confirmation of receipt from Austria, uncertain whether they would receive the presents. Above all expectations, each package reached its destination intact in less than three weeks. What a joy to receive the videos of excited little ones unpacking a box full of surprises.

The Covid pandemic made it increasingly difficult to ship parcels overseas and we started ordering birthday gifts from and having them delivered by Amazon. It was reliable and fast, but not satisfying because we could not buy the gifts in person or send any sentimental items or handwritten letters with them.

In the meantime, I crocheted a blanket for each granddaughter, hoping that one day they would get it when visiting in South Africa again. The project had just been completed when we learned that there was a grandson on the way. I once again started crocheting – this time a blue blanket. With the blue blanket completed, Grandpa suggested that we seriously consider sending a package again. Our eldest granddaughter’s birthday and the new baby’s birth were a hop, skip and a jump away. We decided to use a well-known international courier service, and we chose the company’s largest container so all three blankets could fit into it with ease. And the bonus – there was more than enough space for many more surprises for the whole family, as well as some typical South African products that they have been craving for a long time. We filled all open spaces with items of sentimental value, including our daughter’s children’s books as well as handmade cards and handwritten letters. It was supposed to be a surprise.

With the company’s promised delivery time of 2 to 4 working days, we believed that the gift box would be delivered in Austria in time, before the baby’s birth and his big sister’s birthday. Little did we know that Grandpa and Grandma’s dream would become a nightmare. Everything went smoothly until the parcel landed at customs in Austria. Customs sent our daughter an SMS telling her a package was on the way. What a disappointment that the intended surprise was no longer a surprise. However, we were thankful that it got this far without any problems.

Then the challenges began. We don’t know what caused the delay as we made sure there was nothing illegal in the package. Customs informed our daughter that she would have to pay delivery, shipping, and possibly also storage costs, even though we were convinced we had already settled all charges in South Africa. We suspect the customs staff thought we were trying to export goods to Austria. Many emails have been exchanged, each time with a new request. Customs unpacked the box to the bottom and listed every single item (in German that we do not understand). We have been requested to send a pro forma invoice with the price of each item, even estimated values for the things of sentimental value for which we did not even have receipts anymore. We have also been informed that the parcel would be returned to us at our expense, should we not provide the pro forma invoice before a specific date.

After many tears, frustration, stress and prayers, the gift box, which was no longer a surprise, was finally delivered to our children – 13 working days after shipment. Unfortunately, they had to pay a huge amount upon receipt of the package, much more than the value of the contents. We gave them the money back because we didn’t want them to pay for a gift.

This whole drama dampened our joy and excitement over the package. But the Austrians’ excitement and joy made up for the disappointment. At least we received a video and photos of everyone’s discovery and enjoyment of the contents of the package.

We made representations to the Austrian customs regarding the delay of the parcel and the unnecessary and excessive costs recovered from our children, and a large part of the money was repaid.

Do you consider sending a gift to your children?

Make sure you use a reliable courier service – well-known is not necessarily reliable. And make sure that the company’s staff in South Africa know the rules, regulations, requirements and restrictions of the destination country. Do not accept verbal communications – insist on the most recent, valid written information. If the information is incomplete or unsatisfactory, inquire at the customs of the destination country before sending the parcel.

Will we send gifts overseas again?

Maybe … One day. After we had come to terms with this drama and forgotten about it. Grandpa is already dreaming about the contents of the next box. Why? Because it’s a way to show our children and grandchildren that we care and want to stay in touch. A gift box does not only contain tangible gifts but also our hearts.