You can still remember the excitement that accompanied the good news. A job offer abroad! Now that\u2019s something to write home about. How could you not allow your spouse this opportunity? Talks about the salary immediately sparked your imagination, but nobody told you about the knot in your stomach that would follow. \u201cAbroad\u201d is just a nice word for \u201cfar from home\u201d, and the move will get to you. Here are a few tips and words of wisdom to overcome the dreaded trailing spouse syndrome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Accepting a job offer abroad is not a strange phenomenon. On the contrary, it is a goal that many strive to. Within the context of a marriage a new job will often be more complicated than just the initial \u201cyes\u201d, as there are two people involved.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The term \u201ctrailing spouse\u201d was first used in 1975 by Mary Bralove in the <\/a>Wall Street Journal<\/em><\/a> <\/em>to express the experience of a spouse that had to emigrate as a result of her husband\u2019s new job.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Despite the wonderful opportunity for the development of a career, there is a series of challenges every spouse will face after a move overseas. Ignoring these challenges or simply shrugging them off won\u2019t do anyone any good. Let\u2019s therefore identify the most obvious problems you may encounter, so you can take the next step and put trailing spouse syndrome in its place. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Career disruption<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n While it may seem like your spouse\u2019s career<\/a> is advancing, you might feel unnerved by the disruption of your own career. You probably had to leave behind your own objectives in your home country and exchange your home language for a foreign one. Perhaps your visa doesn\u2019t allow you to get employment where you live now, or you have to make a change of career in order to earn a salary. There are many career-related challenges!<\/p>\n\n\n\n Culture shock<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Besides losing your job, you also have to get used to a foreign culture. Culture shock<\/a> is a reality for the trailing spouse who had to leave their comfort zone to explore a new environment. It can take a significant period of time to adapt to a new reality and the shock might not hit you immediately. Sometimes it is a gradual buildup of events which can lead to a breaking point. This shock can be difficult to process since it cannot be attributed to one single reason, but rather a series of circumstances that gradually builds up to it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Trailing spouse syndrome however doesn\u2019t need to become a reality. If you are struggling with these complex feelings, of even see it in your spouse, the following tips might help you to feel better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n How to curb trailing spouse syndrome<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n As humans we have the desire<\/a> to be a part of something bigger than ourselves. If you don\u2019t feel as if you belong somewhere it can lead to a deep discomfort, with consequences that may not be visible immediately. It is therefore advisable to join a group in your new country \u2013 such as a church or club \u2013 as soon as you can. This will enable you to start building a support network: a place where you will belong. These groups can offer excellent emotional support and establish new friendships and valuable resources. \u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n Please visit AfriForum\u2019s World Guide to find a church, club or expat business in your new area. Networks are not only for businesses, it is also a valuable way to build a support base for those days when the yearning for what is familiar becomes too much.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Communication<\/a> is a key ingredient in the marriage recipe. As soon as you feel that your frame of mind is moving towards trailing spouse syndrome or even expat depression, it is important to communicate these feelings to your partner. They can only help you if they are aware of the fact that you need their support. These types of conversations may feel awkward, but they are also life-changing. You should therefore schedule<\/a> regular quality time as a couple, so you can feel safe to share what is in your heart. \u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n