{"id":208398,"date":"2025-08-20T09:12:12","date_gmt":"2025-08-20T07:12:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wereldwyd.co.za\/?p=208398"},"modified":"2026-01-19T14:47:31","modified_gmt":"2026-01-19T12:47:31","slug":"when-words-are-not-enough-to-say-goodbye","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wereldwyd.co.za\/en\/when-words-are-not-enough-to-say-goodbye\/","title":{"rendered":"When words are not enough to say goodbye"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

A farewell that never ends<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

To say goodbye, is never just a word or a gesture. It is an experience that touches your heart, takes your breath away and can occupy your thoughts for days \u2013 even years. Some farewells are planned; others strike you unexpectedly like a cold wind in summer. But for those who emigrate, there is another dimension: the farewell does not end with that first departure. Each visit brings the joy of a reunion and the pain of a repeated goodbye.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Airports: factories of stories and emotions<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the article Lughawens is storiefabrieke<\/strong><\/a> describes, there are few places where the extremes of emotion coexist so well: tears of joy and tears of loss. For many South Africans abroad, airports have lost their excitement. \u201cWhere airports<\/em> used to be a place of excitement and anticipation for me, they are now the place where my heart is being ripped out of my body,\u201d<\/em> says Lindi-Lee Lock Bekker.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The scene repeats itself: you see your loved ones arriving, you hold them, you laugh, you live intensely. But all the while you know \u2013 in a few days you will be standing here again with a heavy heart and tears flowing uncontrollably.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The continuous cycle of greeting<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

For some the pain begins days before the farewell. \u201cThe feeling begins three days before you get to the airport,\u201d <\/em>says Ilse Beckley. Others try to protect themselves by not saying goodbye at the airport at all. \u201cI never let my parents take me to the airport. We say goodbye in other places,\u201d<\/em> says Lila Vermaak.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The repetitive nature of this farewell can be overwhelming. Like All4Travel shares: \u201cAfter every visit, it gets harder. Because the children are growing up and I miss a part of it. I cannot pick them up on a weekend or be at a sports game.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n

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Different ways to say goodbye<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dr Sulette Ferreira explains: \u201cIn the context of emigration there is a gap in farewell rituals such as greeting at the airport. Every family gradually develops their own ritual to deal with the turmoil of emotions.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here are some ways people try to make it more bearable:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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  1. Quick goodbye:<\/strong> Some people prefer a \u201cdrop and go\u201d to shorten the pain.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  2. Say goodbye at home: <\/strong>Avoid the airport altogether, say goodbye in a familiar, comfortable space.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  3. Keep waving: <\/strong>Others stand and wave until their loved ones are no longer visible.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  4. Make it a ritual: <\/strong>Eat together before the flight, take photos, share a last hug.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  5. Change your words: <\/strong>Rather say \u201cuntil we see each other again\u201d<\/em> like Florence Taljaard: \u201cI do not get sad because I just have to be patient.\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n
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    The happiness and the emptiness<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    The journey back home after a visit is often the hardest. Hannetjie Jordaan describes it this way: \u201cThat \u2018out of your skin\u2019 joy at seeing you again and then that \u2018feeling as if your heart is being ripped out of body\u2019 goodbye.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    For Linda Cilliers it is simple: \u201cI have shed more tears in airports than at any funeral.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    And yet, gratitude remains: As Elmarie Kemp says, there is the comfort of the people who are still close, and the opportunities to find new \u201cfamily\u201d in your new home.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Practical ways to make farewells more bearable<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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    • Prepare your heart<\/strong>
      Give yourself permission to experience the last few days of a visit slowly and mindfully. Accept that emotions will start to creep in even before the final goodbye \u2013 sometimes long before you arrive at the airport. Make time for small moments together, even if it is just to drink coffee together or watch a sunset.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
    • Focus on memories<\/strong>
      Capture the moment. Take photos of ordinary things \u2013 a table full of board games, a fire for braai, children playing in the garden. Make something symbolic together, like a letter, a gift or a cookbook full of family recipes, that can serve as anchor for that visit. This is when memories become tangible.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
    • Talk about the next visit<\/strong>
      Even if it is just a possibility, it brings hope to discuss plans for when you can see each other again. Choose a dream location or a future event as a goal, even if the details change later. Hope is a light that can shine through the dark days after the farewell.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
    • Let the tears flow<\/strong>
      Do not be ashamed of your emotions. Like Carinha Greyling Pretorius says: \u201cI cry shamelessly! Why not? <\/em>Tears are often just a sign of how deep the love and longing is. Let them flow and be gentle with yourself.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
    • Stay in touch<\/strong>
      Let technology bring you closer. Video calls, voice notes and messages can make the distance just a little bit smaller. Share not just big news, but also small daily moments like the weather, a new recipe, a funny story. This way, lives on both sides stay intertwined.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n