By Charn\u00e9 Meiring<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Being a mother is never easy \u2013 but being a mother far from your people, without the familiar helping hands of grandmothers, aunts and friends, requires a different kind of courage. In a foreign country where your village is no longer around the corner, you quickly learn that old advice and old love are not always within reach. Honestly and with a touch of humour, Charn\u00e9 Meiring shares her experience as a mother abroad who had to build her own new village \u2013 one that spans borders, time zones and cultures.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
People say: \u201cIt takes a village to raise a child.\u201d It is true \u2013 Grandma brings dessert, Aunt Clarise holds the baby, and someone always brings lasagna.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But what if you move away from your village? What if your village now consists of a few WhatsApp groups and a smart bottle maker?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Many expat moms know that feeling. I am one of them. And believe me \u2013 it is not for the faint of heart. The grandmothers and aunties only see the cute photos you hastily post between diapers and colic. And when you complain about little sleep or a crying baby, they usually react with: \u201cOh shame, dear \u2026 yes, that is bad.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It is the digital version of a half-hearted hug \u2013 without the cup of tea.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And there you are: alone, in a foreign country, with a little human being who believes you know what you’re doing \u2013 while you silently wonder if you will ever sleep again, or just feel like … you again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I quickly started relying on \u201cGrandma Google\u201d for advice. She has answers for everything \u2013 except how to wipe away tears or rock a baby to sleep without crying yourself. And she certainly did not warn me about that three-o\u2019-clock-in-the-morning silence, when you realise: you are an expat mom without your village.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The time difference does not help either. My worries start at eleven o’ clock at night, and by the time someone in South Africa reads my message, I have already been through a whole circus \u2013 a crying baby, cold tea and a husband trying his best to comfort me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But then something beautiful happened.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My village started to grow \u2013 slowly but surely. A few wonderful expat moms with tired eyes and warm hearts. We shared stories, exchanged advice and searched together for that legendary \u201cbum cream\u201d that supposedly only exists in South Africa. We laughed about how the local versions smelled like abrasives, but at least they worked. And in no time, I had a bunch of new friends \u2013 each with a baby in one arm and a cup of cold coffee in the other.<\/p>\n\n\n