When someone in your family decides to move abroad, things change not only for them, but also for those who stay behind. It’s rarely a geographical move only; it’s an emotional shift felt by every family member. There are always those who leave and those who stay, and between them lies a sea of change.

The quiet reality of “being left behind”

Family members who stay behind often experience a mixture of pride, sadness and uncertainty. You are happy that your child or sibling is getting new opportunities, but you also feel the void that their departure leaves. Everyone often talks about the adjustment of those who are going to live abroad, but few talk about the emotional adjustment of the family left behind.

Everyday events, like a family braai, birthday or just a quick cup of tea, become memories instead of routine. Even when technology shortens the distance, the absence remains tangible.

Relationships being redefined

When someone moves away, the balance of family relationships changes. The parent who was always close now becomes the voice on the other side of a screen. The sisters who saw each other every day must now learn to share “news” in messages. Parents must learn to be proud without being physically present at milestones like weddings, babies, and birthdays, and grandparents must convey love with video calls instead of hugs.

A new role division often emerges. One child may take on more responsibility for ageing parents, or the family may have to find new ways to stay involved and still feel part of each other’s lives despite time zones and distance separating them.

The emotional compass of adaptation

For those left behind, it is normal to experience feelings of sadness, longing, and emotional strain. These feelings do not mean that you do not wish your family the best; they simply show that love is deeply rooted and that the bond between you remains strong despite changing circumstances.

Every family process these transitions in their own way, and it takes time to find a new rhythm. By having open conversations and sharing your feelings honestly and without blame, understanding can grow, and the relationship remains healthy, even across great distances.

How to keep ties strong

• Maintain rituals: Keep celebrating birthdays or holidays together, even if it’s digitally.
• Create new ways to connect: Start a family group, share weekly photos and short videos, or have a “virtual coffee date.”
• Visit whenever possible: Planning and anticipation can bring joy, even if visits are few and far between.
• Accept change: The relationship will look different, but different does not mean less valuable.

When the family is spread across continents

The world map is now becoming part of the family story of many South African families: one child in Australia, another in Canada, and the parents still in South Africa. This calls for new forms of togetherness and understanding. Families often discover that their bond is not weakened by distance but strengthened by conscious effort and sustained involvement.

Being a family across borders requires patience, understanding and a love that transcends distance. Staying close even when you are far apart is not only possible, but it is a testament to the strength of family bonds. Your people remain your people, whether they live across the ocean or in the house next door.

Also read: Wanneer ’n broer of suster emigreer: die veranderde gesinsdinamika