When loved ones emigrate: a road of adaption for family and friends

Emigration is never a simple decision. When someone you love decides to live abroad, it changes the familiar rhythm of a family or circle of friends’ lives. For those who are left behind, it means a time of adjustment, longing, and the search for new ways to still be a part of each other’s lives.

Where there used to be spontaneous visits, laughter and handshakes, there are now time zones, digital screens and waiting for messages. Yet, amidst the challenges, families and friends are also discovering new ways to stay close and keep love alive across borders.

Support for those left behind

When a loved one emigrates, it is not only them who have to adjust – those who are left behind also experience challenges. AfriForum Worldwide knows that emigration is not only a life-changing reality for the one leaving, but also for the parents, grandparents, brothers, sisters, friends and family who are left behind.

That is why AfriForum Worldwide offers support through:

• Articles and expert advice that illuminate the emotional and practical realities of emigration.
• Social events where families and friends can build their own networks and share experiences.
• The Spotlight newsletter, which helps to better understand the culture, customs and challenges of your loved ones’ new country.

When you better understand their new reality, you can be more supportive and have meaningful conversations – a bridge that bridges the gap.

The emotional journey

The initial reaction to emigration is often sadness or even resistance. However, how you respond affects the relationship going forward. By speaking openly and supporting your loved ones, you build a lasting bond.

For parents and grandparents, the loss often lies in the longing for daily togetherness with children and grandchildren. For friends, it means the loss of everyday chats, and for siblings, the absence of shared milestones. Yet every relationship can find new ways to flourish across distances.

The bond over distance

Many people share how they have found practical ways to still feel close:

• Ans Pelser, with grandchildren in the far corners of the world, says: “If they see you making an effort, they will make an effort too.”
• Margaretha Kruger sends packages for birthdays and uses technology to celebrate every milestone together.
• Others share stories of gifts being held up at customs – frustrating, but also a reminder that even love in a box can have its own obstacles. Yet the end result was always the same: a precious bond that was strengthened when the gift reached its destination.

Empathy as an anchor

According to anthropologist Helen Ellis, empathy is the cornerstone of long-distance relationships. Empathy helps families and friends see each other’s challenges – whether it’s a grandchild seeing his grandmother on a screen, or a friend silently waiting for a message.

Small gestures, like a voice message, a photo or even a family recipe, keep the feeling of presence alive. Food, music and memories become symbols of togetherness, even if there are thousands of kilometres between them.

Five practical tips for coping with longing

1. Be involved and supportive
   Listen with an open mind when they share news about their new life. Ask questions, show interest and share your own experiences at home.
2. Use technology creatively
   From video calls to voice messages – technology is a lifeline between continents. Even read stories to children or share videos of your everyday life.
3. Establish routines
   Arrange set times for conversations. This provides certainty and something everyone can look forward to.
4. Create traditions across the distance
   Celebrate birthdays or Christmas together via video or keep a shared digital photo album.
5. Send gifts with care and love
   Handmade items, photos or letters in your own handwriting carry a value that does not fade with distance.

BONUS TIP: Also take care of yourself

The emotional toll of emigration affects everyone. Participate in support groups, use AfriForum Worldwide’s platforms and make sure you share your feelings. The better you take care of yourself, the more stability you can offer your loved ones.

Emigration undeniably brings longing and sometimes tears, but it also reminds us of the incredible ability of families to find new ways to hold each other. Love has no borders or time zones – it always finds a way, whether it is through a voice note, a package or a smile on a screen. Our relationships change, but they never lose their value.

Also read: Emigration and the changing family dynamics: For the family left behind