By Alize Scholtz

Christmas can, for several reasons, be a busy, stressful and difficult time for anyone. Especially for those who live abroad. No other event demands as much stamina, creative thinking and organisation from you as Christmas. There are last minute tasks at work, ashopping list of gifts, menus and travel arrangements. When you have to spend Christmas without your family because they are far away, loneliness can quickly set in. Even if you find yourself in a beautiful country where they celebrate in unique ways, it can be difficult to get into the festive spirit.

Christmas is usually a time to be together, but what do you do when it is simply not possible? Here are a few tips when the longing during Christmas becomes too much.

Do not abandon your traditions

Just because you are in another country it does not mean that you have to stop celebrating the holidays in a truly South African way. Sing Christmas carols like Koos du Plessis’ Somerkersfees in your mother tongue. Make that special dish that reminds you of South African summers (hello colourful, alcohol-soaked trifle).

If your people at home have always done things in a certain way (like opening gifts on Christmas Eve for example) – keep doing it that way. You will feel more at home and in touch with your loved ones. Many people feel that you are expected to be happy and cheerful about December. In reality, many people find the festive season something to be endured rather than enjoyed, as anxiety or depression rears its head.

Traditions and rituals provide structure to our lives and perform important psychological functions to manage anxiety. The nostalgia of old Christmas traditions can strengthen the sense of social connectedness. Research has proven that nostalgia can ease anxiety and loneliness. Keeping up with your own family’s traditions, even when you find yourself abroad, can improve your overall wellbeing.   

Make virtual contact

With today’s limitless technology options, staying in touch has never been easier. The secret lies in planning in time when family or friends will get together and then join them virtually. Many platforms already exist to make video calls in a group format. Explore the options here. Even if you are not in the same town or country as your loved ones, any connection – even a distant one – can help make you feel more at home.

It is not called social media for nothing. Share in the festivities and play a game together such as charades. Use an online word generator or choose words that are more relevant to your group. Everyone can suggest a few words and share them with each other. Just send it in a personal message on the video conference platform so the guessers cannot see the word beforehand! Get more ideas of things you can virtually do together here.

If your people are not skilled enough for such a video call, or internet connection is a problem, you can always introduce a toast on the holiday. Ask everyone to share a selfie of their holiday setup and their drink of choice on your social media group. The photos will bring a few smiles and chase away any loneliness.  

Loneliness has a negative impact on your health. Research has proven that feeling socially connected is one of the strongest antidotes to depression and can reduce symptoms of anxiety. The Covid-19 pandemic has also taught us that virtual connection with your loved ones is an excellent substitute when you cannot be together in person.

What matters

If Christmas is not in your heart, you will not find it under a tree. That is why Christmas is not a date, but a mindset. Forget about the stress that sometimes comes with this time of year. Stick to the beautiful things, the joy of sharing the end of another with your loved ones (even if it is virtually) and the privilege to celebrate His birth. Your time and love is the best you can give.