Out and about is a column where we chat to people who currently live abroad, or who used to live and work there, but are back in South Africa. We would love to hear from anyone who wants to share their experiences with us. 

This week we talk to Melani Potgieter, who lives in France.

Hallo, Melani! From where in South Africa are you originally and why did you decide to go and live in France?

My husband and I are both from Centurion. We moved to France so that my husband could continue his rugby career here. Our plan was to spend just a few years in France, but when it became time to return, we made the decision to stay here.

Tell us more about your family.

We came here when our firstborn was six months old. He is now 13 years old and has since gained a sister and brother. They are 11 and 8 years old respectively. Our children are all fond of sport, just like their dad. Our sons play soccer and our daughter swam for four years, and this year she decided to play badminton. I am more interested in the arts. I was a graphic designer in South Africa and drew a bit in my spare time and recently started embroidering. We adopted a French bulldog three years ago and she provides hours of entertainment.

How do your children form or maintain a relationship with their grandparents? How often do you as family see each other?

Our children see their grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins every week when we make video calls. My parents-in-law come to visit every two years. When our children were still small and could sit on our laps in the airplane we went to visit South Africa every year. Unfortunately these days it is almost unaffordable to buy five plane tickets. We last visited in 2022 and before that Covid-19 and my husband’s health crisis prevented us from visiting. We aim to pack our travel bags next year.

Do you speak Afrikaans to each other? What does your Afrikaner heritage mean to you? What South African traditions do you teach your children? Which Afrikaans aids do you use?

In this Potgieter household we only speak Afrikaans. The children will however speak French among themselves when they are playing together, but when we as a family are together, you will only hear Afrikaans. We read Afrikaans story books such as Oom Attie se Slaaptydstories, Afrikaans Bible stories, we watch Afrikaans television programmes, and we pray in Afrikaans. Our children all know The Lord’s Prayer in Afrikaans.

I feel privileged to call the Afrikaner heritage my own. It is so colourful and rich in variety. My heritage attests to endurance, persistence, hard work, acceptance. By sharing our history with our children, we teach them about all these qualities. Through our South African dishes and food (bobotie, biltong, vetkoek, koeksisters, etc.) and Afrikaans music, we bring a bit of heritage into our home.

It can be challenging to adapt to a new country. What was the strangest thing for you to get used to abroad? What was the biggest adjustment for you abroad?

Of course, the language was the biggest challenge. The biggest adjustment was being without family and a support network. Getting used to the food was also slightly challenging. We long for Mrs Ball’s chutney, droëwors, Bovril and mealiepap. You learn to adjust and try out new recipes and dishes.    

How does the school system in France differ from that in South Africa?

The biggest difference in the school system is the school hours and the sport. Children go to school from 09:30 to 17:30 with a long lunch break between 12:00 and 14:00. You cannot participate in sport in school. Children are enrolled in clubs and pay annual licences to participate. Thers is also no school uniforms. There are three levels of school: primary (from 6- to 10-year-olds), collège (11- to 15-years olds) and high school (16- to 18-year-old). There is also a short vacation every six to eight weeks and then one long summer vacation when the school year ends at the beginning of July.   

Tell us what kind of work you do and how the work culture in the country differs from that in South Africa.

My husband signed a rugby contract. He played at various clubs in France – Bayonne, Dax, Lyon and Perpignan. These days he is coach of the U-21 team at Perpignan, as well as kicking coach of the professional team. I was fortunate enough to dedicate myself for 10 years to settling my family in a new country with a new language and new culture. I only started spreading my wings on the work front this year. I am currently busy with a course that will help me enter the workforce. I intend doing something in the real estate industry.

Driving cars and driver’s licences – how does is it different from South Africa? Do you own your own car or do you make use of alternative transport?

We were able to exchange our driver’s licences for French licences in our first year in France. My husband’s licence was exchanged by the club, but I missed the cut-off date and had to redo the learner’s licence, driving lessons and practical test. Here are some interesting rules of the road – such as yielding to the right in places where you would never expect it. Here are also a lot more traffic circles than traffic lights that help with the flow of traffic. We have always been fortunate enough to have our own cars, especially since we prefer to life on the outskirts of the big cities. We have not really made much use of the public transport systems so far.

How do the accommodation options in France compare with those in South Africa?

Accommodation options are complicated for us South Africans here. We prefer a yard and space to breathe, but the French’s houses are mostly built against each other or very close to each other. So you have a very small garden and not much of the privacy that the big yards in South Africa offer you. There are slightly more space as you move to the outskirts, but here you pay through your nose for outside areas.   

What do you do for leisure in France?

For relaxation, I enjoy exploring small towns and taking photos of the architecture and landscapes. Where we live, close to the Spanish border at the Pyrenees mountain range, the Spanish influence on the architecture is clearly visible.

Are there any South African businesses (shops, restaurants, services) nearby that you gladly support?

I am currently only aware of two restaurants in our town that are owned by South Africans. The seafood restaurant, La Maréee de Joe, belongs to the ex-rugby player Joe Gilligham. La Paillote, a tapas bar and restaurant, is the eatery of Erika Harmse and her French husband, Jerome. We go the each one in turn for delicious snacks and Afrikaans chats.

What is your favourite memory of South Africa?

Big family get-togethers are by far my favourite memory of South Africa. The togetherness of laughing until you cry, eating way to much food, singing along to Afrikaans music and dancing until the sun rises is what I miss the most.

Write to us

Do you live abroad, or have you recently moved back from abroad? You can also write an Out and about article. Send an email to wereldwyd@afriforum.co.za and we will send you some questions to answer.

Also read: Out and about: an email from New Zealand