A group of inventive men from the Brisbane Afrikaanse Kerk (BAK) decided to break away from the traditional idea of a fête. Initially, only two rules were laid down. Rule 1: Only calorie-rich foods such as boerewors, curry and rice, delicious koeksisters and pancakes will be served. Rule 2: No salad or vegetables! For some reason, the men have unpleasant memories of salad and vegetables from their childhood and youth, and the biggest scapegoat is pumpkin.

Quite a few of the men were born shortly after World War II when food was scarce. Only pumpkin was available in abundance, and it was dished up three times a day. (If one can use a decent word like “dish” so carelessly!) Pumpkin fritters were also served as a snack between the three main meals. There was no Purity on the market yet at the time, and as children, we had to choke on the pumpkin permanently. I still remember how I bespattered my mother (a formidable woman) with a stream of pumpkin soup so that she looked like a pumpkin ghost for three days.

The men organised the whole bazaar. The women could assist, and they did a good job, but for peace’ sake, they preferred not to interfere.

BAK was established in February 2020 and the first service was held on 16 February. We currently have 100 members and we welcome a lot of visitors every Sunday. More than 500 people attended the calorie booster bazaar and a profit of about $9 500 (± R120 000) was made.

But money is not everything. The fellowship of loved ones in Christ was crucial. Apart from the delicious food, such as sosaties, boerewors rolls, pap and sheba, curry and rice, and vetkoek and mince, there were also the naughtier things like pancakes, koeksisters, malva pudding, Peppermint Crisp tart and soft serve. The organisers have proclaimed far and wide that the naughty things are the most important calorie boosters. The children were permanently in two minds about the pancakes and koeksisters, and then got rid of their excess energy on the jumping castle. And they had lots of energy! It makes me think that maybe we should host a calorie booster bazaar regularly a few days before each athletics event.

Ds. Gawie Cloete is our pastor. He and Alba joined us a few months ago after we called him from Western Australia. Both of them were born and bred in Namibia (South West Africa), later New Zealand and Western Australia. And now our congregation is indeed richly blessed with a hardworking, talented and loving pastor. And on top of that, he’s an excellent cook, especially when it comes to curry and rice. He and Alba were somewhat orange in the face after a few days in the kitchen, preparing their curry dish. Now I must mention that I learned about decent curry and rice when I travelled through South West Africa as a student. In fact, I had the best curry and rice ever in a tiny restaurant in a tiny town. The cook was a local named “Gapsie”. Rumours had it that he was called Gapsie because he used to gaps (pilfer) his main ingredient from the surrounding farms, but everyone looked the other way because his curry and rice were the very best. After I had a few mouths full of ds. Gawie’s curry and rice, I knew right away that Gapsie was his teacher! Fortunately, ds. Gawie did not learn everything from Gapsie, because I am not aware of any sheep in the area that has disappeared … Not for nothing, he is an excellent pastor!

Then we come to one last thing, and that is the undisciplined consumption of pancakes and koeksisters at the calorie booster bazaar. Some men at BAK  have a serious problem with diabetes – me included. Nonetheless, I noticed how these men (of course, not me!) lingered longingly in front of the koeksister and pancake tables, and before long they dug in and pretended that the diabetes story was just silly talk. Funny that the people with diabetes now, after the bazaar, regularly prick their fingers and lick the drop of blood with the words, “Golly, this drop of blood really tastes like a koeksister.”

The women at BAK are obviously happy with their calorie booster men, and it seems to me that there is a quiet respect for the men on a more regular basis, especially in the kitchen. They are now being asked (actually begged) on a regular basis to take over the cooking. But this will be for a short while only because men who came up with such an excellent idea will not be easily influenced!

Johann

Contact the Brisbane Afrikaanse Kerk (BAK) at admin@bak.org.au.

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For more details on the calorie booster bazaar, visit http://bak.org.au/wat-glo-ons/.