It is an ordinary weekday morning. Your child wakes up with a fever. You have an appointment that is difficult to reschedule, and your partner is already on their way to work. Or perhaps your car will not start, just when you need to pick someone up from the airport. Suddenly, one question arises: Who can I ask for help?

When you live abroad, such moments can make you realise how much you used to be able to depend on your family, neighbours and old friends. These were people you could call without hesitation. In a new environment, you have to figure out all over again who is close, who is available and with whom you feel comfortable enough to ask for help.

It takes time to build these relationships. Yet, you can start forming a support network even before a crisis arises.

Start with the people you see regularly

You do not need to have a large circle of friends right away. Begin with someone who is already part of your routine: a parent at school, a neighbour, a colleague or someone you meet at church or a club.

Learn more about each other’s circumstances. Talk about your children, working hours and the usual challenges of the week. When you are already comfortable talking to each other and sharing small things, it becomes easier to ask for help later.

Be specific about what you need. “Can you pick up my child at 15:00 today?” is easier to respond to than “I do not know how I am going to manage everything.” Provide enough details and let the person know that you will understand if they are not available.

Be willing to also help

Support grows when people notice what they can do for one another. You might drop off a meal for someone, offer a ride or show a new family where the local library is. Choose what suits your time and ability.

This does not mean that every favour must be repaid immediately. There will be times when someone needs more support than they are able to give back. What matters is that you respect each other’s time and are willing to help when you can.

Make a simple plan

Keep important contact details in once place: those of the school, local services and two or three people with whom you have already discussed potential assistance.

Discuss arrangements in advance. Ensure that everyone is comfortable with matters such as picking up the children or holding a spare key. Also, follow the school’s policies regarding who is permitted to collect your child.

A personal support network can offer valuable assistance but also know the local emergency numbers and know where to find professional help when needed.

AfriForum Worldwide’s World Guide can help you find businesses, service providers and community organisations in your area. It offers a useful starting point for discovering contacts and getting to know your local environment better.

Community often finds meaning in a simple offer: “I will help.” What begins as a small favour on an ordinary day, can over time grow into the reassurance that there is someone you can call.